Interviews

"She's come out of Hiding" Conducted by Rolling Stone Magazine, April 5th, 2021. Interviewer: Vanessa Vermont.
V: We're sitting here with an exclusive interview with Curator and Creator of the infamous 'Rhea Wiki', Rhea. She's come out of hiding after a year of 0 changes to the website, and 0 public sightings. Rhea, what is it that you were so busy with?

R: I've mostly been getting into film-making. Music creating, more artsy type things, there's a channel of mine in f-

V: Rhea, correct?

R, Visibly mad at Vanessa for cutting her off: Yes. I'm assuming you know due to my Creep 2 video, a collaboration with Radiohead frontman 'Thom Yorke'.

V: Of course. After Thom tweeted the video with the caption 'Me New Vid', we were receiving hundreds of emails a day from Radioheadheads around the world asking us who this mysterious uploader is.

Rhea flashes an awkward smile, scratching her hair and looking away for a moment, she seems displeased that her big breakthrough was Creep.

R: Right. So I have not used Twitter in some time, in fact I quit the web app not too long ago, so I was not there to really grasp the public's reaction to when my friend Thomas spoke of me.

V: What made you quit?

Rhea sighs, sits up straight and flattens her dress shirt / MTV Thom Yorke Screaming Face Sweater combo.

R: The people. In fact, the Person, really. There's someone I met not too long before leaving that I'm sure you'll hear more of, she started off as someone with similar interests but it quickly devolved into more of a rivalry, if not full on enemies.

V: Do you get many people like that?

R: No. That's what made it so dreadful to deal with. That it was a new experience and I had no idea where to take it. I've had my fair share of Annoying Bitches in my life-

V: Any of them lovers?

Rhea makes a sour face, she gets up off of her chair and leaves the interview for 5 minutes. She comes back with her outfit and hairstyle changed entirely, as if her entire interests, four visible ones, changed just like that.

R: To answer your question, no.

Vanessa flips through her intended questions and starts to sweat, they're all based around the same thing.

Rhea sighs and puts her hand through her now very greased hair.

R: You're going to ask me about Creeps 3-5, aren't you.

V: They've been discovered on an assortment of sites, very rough drafts of them anyways.

R: And that's how they still are, I gave up on them and tossed them aside, I don't want to forever be associated with Creep 2, you know.

V: The compositions on them are honestly baffling, in good and bad ways. The one that comes to mind is Creep4bloodelves.

R: I figured that one would go over heads, it may not sound like it but there is a bit of Creep [Acoustic] in there, just like the other ones.

V: Would you say which part?

Rhea proceeds to poorly mime her pulling on strings to get the point across that it's the Cello and Violin samples. As she does so, her cross necklace flops out momentarily of her undershirt.

V: You've converted?

Rhea laughs for a moment.

R: No, it's sort of an 'in-joke', I've been called 'Tradcath' lately, with it comes the jokes of vows of celibacy and unhappy future marriages, the whole 9 yards.

V: Do you consider the vow to be involuntary?

"The End of the Rhea Wiki?" Conducted by BBC Music, April 11th, 2021. Interviewer, Mark Manchester.
I first tried to get a hold of Rhea for our first interview attempt several days ago, on the 6th. Since then she's been in a whirl of lifestyle changes and pursuing new avenues, and I've been on the road trying to catch up with her.

This excerpt is from the very brief April 7th conversation we had.

Rhea's jacket creaks and creases loudly, she kicks back and lays her feet on the small table she's pulled up, her boots making a loud thud.

M: You've been the talk of the time since your last interview, clocking in at what our people estimate to be at minimum a whopping 300 views on the article with Rolling Stone.

R: What a regret that was, talk about getting ahead of myself, I have No Idea what I was talking about there.

M: You came off very coherent, what do you mean by that?

R: With the whole coming out of the shadows thing, starting up the wiki, I was too caught up in the moment, I am not reviving the wiki. I'm never touching that wretched place again. I'm taking off the protections on it, let the vultures get to it.

I was stunned, I prepared so much for talking about what she'd be possibly using the site for, and now it's gone? Before I could even think of my next question her phone buzzed and she thanked me and said she had to leave to go rehearse with her band, another bit of news that I had just learned.

Two days passed, I got in touch with her and she said she'd meet for coffee for a moment.

I walked into the shop and Rhea looks much more timid than before, wearing an overcoat that was draped over her long shirt, and dark pants in the 90 degrees heat, there was no sweat beading off of her, like she'd achieved some secret.

She extended her hand and pleasantly smiled. Her hair was patted down, smoothed out, polar opposite of her chokingly hairsprayed locks pointed nearly skyward the last time I saw her.

M: As you said you would the last time we met, you opened up your wiki to the public, and it's very... Evident with some of the edits and articles that vultures was the right word.

Rhea chuckles a bit while sipping her drink.

R: Right? Some of the stuff in there is just not me at all. I don't think so atleast, it's been hazy! I don't recall fully what we discussed last time but I do remember really feeling strongly about this, there's something a lot more community based about this rather than just selfishly making a temple to myself.

M: You're some sort of pioneer for this, I can't think of any other figure who's not only allowed unsourced claims about them on a wiki based site, but also encourage them, what makes you so okay with it?

R: I think there's a lot to be said about the unknown, things that contradict eachother, like how Thom on it has several different origins or stories. When reading about say, the Justin Trudeau edit in my "Lovers" tab, it's easy to write it off as a little joke but there's a lot of comments out there supporting the idea, just know that it's not true and to be frank, were any of it true, the "Lovers" tab would be empty.

M: With all of these recent changes, do you still stand by your comment you told me yesterday about how the wiki is over with?

Rhea pauses for a moment to collect her thoughts, she parts her hair to the side and fingercombs it.

R: I believe I said, or meant atleast, more of a leaving it to future generations approach to it? I don't exactly stand by it myself any longer though, no. I enjoy letting others add to it, but I've come up with some things I'd want to do myself. Consider the wiki less dying, and more of a rebirth of sorts.

M: Reinventing yet again.

R: Right.

She stares out the window longingly as she drinks her coffee, and I read off some of the things on the menu to see what she'd want.

M: Cake pops, Banana Bread, Peanut Brittle.

Rhea's eyes twinkle, tears flow shortly afterwards, as if the word "Peanut" triggers some deep seated memories. The moment is over instantaneously though, and she says she'll take the Banana Bread.

After we finished eating we both motion to sort of wrap up the interview, I asked some more personal and brief questions.

M: Comparisons can be drawn over the last few days from what I see to David Bowie's Low, you're a lot more subdued and down to earth than the last time I saw you.

Rhea looks flustered, like she's been caught in the act of something.

R: I've never heard of that person before in my life so jot that down (She wrote an article of him on the wiki), but yes, I've made some ch-ch-ch-changes.

M: The biggest one besides your appearance is your utter lack of calling back to what you said before you left last time, about your band, how is that going exactly?

R: Oh it ended an hour after we arrived, I didn't know how loud harmonicas were and we had too many cellists. We tried to bounce some ideas off of Creep as we always do but we just couldn't think of anything new. The suggestion of "Motion Picture Soundtrack" came up but we didn't want to deviate too far. It got messy.

"Dealing with Loss" Conducted by Time Magazine, May 28th, 2021. Interviewer, Clarissa Connecticut.
Rhea has been borderline unreachable for days now. After the spectacular failure that was the launch of "Wrath of the Wicked Witch of the Midwest", she's let her associates and friends control what's on the wikipedia. Now that she's lost the duel against the main antagonist,"Sophie", she's holed herself up in her room, fetal position on the floor ever since.

She reached out yesterday morning, claiming that she was ready to explain just what happened.

Rhea sipped from her mug, the third one in her surrounding, she held up three fingers and softly said that this was her "Third Coffee Check of the day".

C: I wanted to start this by saying that I'm sorry for your loss, we were sent the master tape of the Duel Video and to see someone get so crushed like that.. it was hard to watch, let alone to be on the receiving end of.

Rhea faintly smiled for a moment.

R: Yes.. it was... Challenging. And not just because of Sophie herself but I was also being heckled the entire time I was there by other participants and spectators, it felt like the whole world was against me.

C: These people, they're some of the Gays & Friends from 'Thom Yorke Gays & Friends', correct?

Rhea nods, she looks delighted that people noticed the addition of the group on her Wiki page.

R: The wiki! The wiki. I had so many plans for it, but when the Rhexpansion for the RCU wasn't taken well, I just dropped them all, I felt like it'd be sent out into the void.

C: People have noticed the changes there went more from big drops to scattered bits, Diet Coke and Bananas.jpg for example.

R: Well that's because I let some of the Gays & Friends do the work, I wanted it to be more of a community project, get the band back together you know?

C: Then what made you decide to start updating things yourself?

Rhea donned a face of despair.

R: My Loss.

Rhea stood up and started walking towards her window.

R: To get the facts right about the loss, I had to take matters into my own hands. I had to publicly let people know what happened, how Not Close the results were, for if anyone else were to say it, it would be nothing close to the truth.

R: Yes I lost. I got airshot atleast 30 times, and I didn't even get a single round win.

C: I'm sorry.

R: Don't be. It's in the past now. My only regret is being out of the spotlight, so many rumours have begun to spread.

I shuffled some of my notes.

C: One of them related to that insult you were carried in the video, right?

Rhea shudders, a tear falls down her cheek onto the carpeted floor.

R: Healslut.

In a manically defensive way she started to defend herself against things I didn't even say.

R: What's wrong with healing in games???????? What's wrong with enjoying the Fast Paced Pressure placed upon you, knowing that at any moment you could be kicked or blamed for the group's death?

R: And don't even get me STARTED ON THE DOG STUFF, I DON'T WEAR A COLLAR, I HAVE THE TOY FAVOURITED IN THE WORLD OF WARCRAFT TOY BOX BECAUSE IT'S USEFUL FOR PETS INGAME!!!

I started to sweat nervously, Rhea was darting around the compact room nearly yelling, voice cracking with every other word she raised her voice to say.

C: I think we got off on the wrong fo-

R: I bet you're going to ask me about that Human Mage aren't you. NOTHING HAPPENED I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING, THE B.F.F. NECKLACE IS OFF COOLDOWN, IF PIKE WANTS TO BE BESTIES SHE'S WELCOME TO RECEIVE THE NECKLACE!!!

This went on for 37 more minutes.

Rhea began to pant like some sort of sick puppy, she was winded from walking around her room, she had to rest and so she laid on the ground, curled up in a ball.

I tried to ask some more questions but she mostly grumbled, I noticed she pulled out her phone and put on her special playlist, comprised of "No Surprises" by English Rock Band "Radiohead" repeated about 50 times.

I advise her to get some sort of therapy.